Do you often regret lashing out at people and can never manage your aggression? Are you stuck in an infinite cycle of watching your anger turn into an outburst and later feeling exhausted by this inner turmoil?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you’ve come to the right place. The first step in your journey to anger management is acknowledging and accepting that there may be an issue. Begum C presents ten simple solutions to the age-old question of how to calm anger. Once you begin to understand this emotion, you’ll be better equipped to handle anything that life throws at you!
A Lesson In How To Calm Anger
Anger is a valid human emotion that you can’t always avoid.
But here’s the good news: you can choose how to channel it!
Being angry oftentimes means that you are empathetic and sensitive to the environment. However, an aggressive reaction only leads to miscommunication and completely negates the point that you are trying to make. This is why it is necessary to manage your anger and know the tricks to calm yourself where and when needed. Anger management allows you to acknowledge, reflect, and respond to the emotion in a more grounded, logical manner.
Here are some tips that will guide you on how to calm anger and not lose control:
When you are in a fit of rage, take a moment, and breathe deeply. Connect with your mind and body as you inhale and exhale; this will tone down the severity of your anger and allow you to get in sync with yourself.
Remind yourself to breathe and as you take the air in and out; this means that you have to be conscious and responsive to what your body is telling you. This awareness is crucial in determining your stressors and takes you one step towards anger management.
- Write It Down
Channel your anger creatively by penning down your thoughts, making a mind map, or an art piece. Writing down your thoughts when angry can help you step back from the situation and rationalize your thoughts. When you write your thoughts down, you are able to not only grasp and analyze the situation with more clarity but it also empowers you to feel like the narrator of your story which is crucial when learning how to calm anger. This helps in regaining control and lessens that feeling of powerlessness.
- Get Some Fresh Air
In the midst of an uncomfortable or frustrating situation, go for a stroll around the block or in your garden as this refreshes your mind and allows you to think straight. Stepping out of such a situation is often the most mature action to take. Knowing when to take a back step is also an instinctive part of nature; it helps you assess danger and threats and settles the heat, paving the way forward for a clearer headspace.
When you are fuming with rage use this simple anger management trick to collect your thoughts. Blow off the steam by counting from one to ten and try to focus on each number. Repeat the countdown in descending order this time to distract your mind. The principle behind this is to focus on an activity that requires enough brainpower to split your focus while simultaneously pulling you out of a provocative situation.
- Take Some Time Out
Always be aware of what triggers you and allow yourself to take time out. Learn to walk away from situations that you do not have the energy to deal with and choose your battles wisely; after all, you don’t have unlimited energy to invest in things that take away your peace of mind!
- Let Yourself Daydream
If you are burnt out and you feel pent up frustration, the quickest way to mitigate the situation is by escaping mentally and visualizing an image that brings you peace. This anger management tip will give you a quick break to reset your mind and de-escalate any tense situation. By mentally escaping to your happy place, you find yourself moving towards serenity as you are stretching the bounds of your imagination to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
- Respond, Not React
Reacting to tense situations breeds more hostility because everyone feels misunderstood and no one wants to focus on how to calm anger. That is why it is important to remind yourself that not all moments have to be punctuated with an outburst. So make sure you respond, not react; this means giving yourself some time to process what is going on before exhibiting any heavy emotions.
- Identify the Emotions That Your Anger Might Be Masking
Anger is often misunderstood, and usually masks deeper emotions; for example, we often say that we are angry rather than hurt, disappointed, guilty, or ashamed.
During the formative years, we are taught that these emotions are a sign of weakness while being aggressive is a symbol of strength and power. Consequently, our anger masks other feelings, shutting them down so that we may continue to feel powerful. Therefore, it is important to deconstruct the feeling of anger as it will not only help you in learning how to calm anger but will also enable you to identify the real issue and focus on what needs to be done in order to address the root cause.
- Rationalize Your Thoughts
When you’re angry, you might feel outraged and invalidated. Instead of lashing out at the people around you, take some time to process these feelings, and find a way to rationalize your thoughts; this is a great lesson in how to calm your anger.
Try to make sense of what made you angry; was it the wrong time, wrong person, wrong words, or were you just not in the state of mind to endure it? Asking yourself these questions is a great segue to expand your perspective, and build a wider scope of acceptance for others and yourself.
- Talk to A friend
Having a friend to talk to when you are spiraling is as important as having these anger management tips at hand. A support system not only serves as a safe outlet to let your anger be known without an adverse reaction but also enables you to consider an outsider’s perspective on your thoughts and fears. This not only gives you the reassurance and support that you need when you’re in an angry state of mind but is a great distraction!
Next time when your anger is ablaze, and you don’t know how to calm anger, use these tips so that you may avoid hurting yourself and others!
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